100 Spicy Questions to Ask Your Partner (Girlfriend or Boyfriend)

Why spicy questions work

Most couples stop asking each other real questions after the first few months. You know their coffee order and their favourite show, so it feels like there's nothing left to discover. There always is. A good question does two things at once: it tells you something new about your partner, and it creates a moment of tension – a pause, a smile, a "do I really want to answer that?" – that makes the evening feel different.

These 100 spicy questions are sorted from flirty to properly hot. Use them over dinner, in bed, on a long drive or over text. The only rules: answer honestly, never judge an answer, and either of you can skip a question.

Flirty questions to ask your partner

Light, playful and perfect for warming up.

1. What was the first thing you noticed about me?
2. When did you first realise you were attracted to me?
3. What's your favourite thing I wear?
4. What's one thing I do that I don't know is attractive?
5. Do you remember our first kiss? Describe it.
6. What song makes you think of me?
7. If we met again for the first time today, what pick-up line would you use?
8. What's your favourite photo of us?
9. When do you think I look my best?
10. What was going through your head on our first date?
11. What's the most romantic thing I've ever done for you?
12. Which of my habits secretly makes you smile?
13. What's your favourite memory of us that I might have forgotten?
14. If you could relive one day with me, which would it be?
15. What compliment from me do you remember most?

Spicy questions to ask your girlfriend

Questions to ask her that are flirty, a little bold and guaranteed to start a conversation.

1. What's something you've always wanted me to notice about you?
2. What's your idea of a perfect date night – from start to finish?
3. When have you felt most attractive with me?
4. What's a small thing I do that drives you crazy in a good way?
5. Have you ever had a dream about me? What happened?
6. What outfit of mine do you like taking off the most?
7. Where's the most unexpected place you've wanted to kiss me?
8. What's a fantasy you've thought about but never said out loud?
9. What do you want more of from me?
10. What's the boldest thing you've ever done to get someone's attention?
11. Which part of a night together do you like most – the build-up, the moment or after?
12. If you could plan a surprise weekend for us, where would we go?
13. What's something you'd like to try together this year?
14. What's the most attractive thing a man can say?
15. When did you last want me and not say anything?

Flirty questions to ask your boyfriend

The male version – some questions overlap, but the answers rarely do.

1. What did you think the first time you saw me?
2. What's my most attractive feature, in your opinion?
3. When was the last time I surprised you?
4. Do you prefer me dressed up or in your hoodie?
5. What's the sexiest thing I've ever said to you?
6. What would your perfect lazy Sunday with me look like?
7. What's something you've always wanted me to do but never asked?
8. Where would you take me if money didn't matter?
9. What's the best kiss we've ever had?
10. What do you think about when you miss me?
11. What's a compliment you wish I'd give you more often?
12. What's one thing that instantly puts you in the mood?
13. Do you have a secret crush on a celebrity? Do I look like them?
14. What's the riskiest thing you'd be willing to try with me?
15. Which night together do you still think about?

Juicy questions for couples

Juicy questions dig into the past, secrets and the stories you haven't told yet.

1. What's the most embarrassing thing that happened to you on a date?
2. Who was your first crush, and what happened?
3. Have you ever been jealous of one of my friends?
4. What's the worst pick-up line someone used on you – and did it work?
5. What's a secret you've never told anyone, but would tell me?
6. Have you ever had feelings for two people at once?
7. What's something about your past relationships you've never told me?
8. What's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?
9. Have you ever pretended to like something just because I liked it?
10. What's a rule you had about dating that you broke for me?
11. What's something you used to believe about love that you don't anymore?
12. What's the craziest place you've ever kissed someone?
13. What's one thing you'd change about how we met?
14. Have you ever looked through my things?
15. What's one thing you're curious about in my past?

Ready for more? Turn these into a game with our juicy Never Have I Ever questions.

Deep and romantic questions

For quieter moments – the questions that make couples feel closer.

1. When do you feel most loved by me?
2. What's something you're afraid to tell me?
3. What do you think we do better than most couples?
4. What's one thing you want us to never stop doing?
5. How have I changed you?
6. What does your ideal life look like in ten years – and where am I in it?
7. What's the hardest thing you've ever forgiven?
8. What's a moment you were proud of me?
9. What do you need from me when you've had a bad day?
10. What's a dream you've given up on – and would you want it back?
11. What's something small I do that means a lot to you?
12. When did you know this was serious?
13. What scares you about getting older?
14. What's the best advice about love you've ever received?
15. What do you want our relationship to feel like a year from now?

Hot questions for couples (adults only)

The final round. Ask these when you're both in the mood – and be ready to act on the answers.

1. What's your favourite way to be touched?
2. What's one thing you'd love me to do more often in bed?
3. Morning, afternoon or night – when do you want me most?
4. What's a fantasy you'd like to try with me?
5. Lights on or lights off?
6. What's the hottest thing I've ever whispered to you?
7. Is there a position you've wanted to try? Our sex positions guide has plenty of ideas.
8. Would you ever try role play? Who would you want to be?
9. What's the best night we've ever had together – and why?
10. What's something that turns you on that might surprise me?
11. Slow and teasing or fast and spontaneous?
12. What's one place outside the bedroom you'd like to try?
13. What do you want me to wear tonight?
14. What's your favourite kind of foreplay? Need ideas? Try our list of foreplay ideas.
15. If you could plan our next night together in detail, what would happen?

How to ask spicy questions without it getting awkward

• Go in order. Start with flirty questions and work up. Jumping straight to the hottest round feels like an interview.
• Answer too. Take turns – every question you ask, you answer as well.
• React with curiosity, not judgement. "Tell me more" beats "really?!" every time.
• Turn it into a game. A Truth or Dare round gives you an easy way to skip a question you're not ready for.
• Text them. Spicy questions over text build anticipation for the evening.

FAQ

What are some spicy questions to ask your partner?

Good spicy questions start flirty ("When did you first realise you were attracted to me?") and get bolder ("What's a fantasy you've never said out loud?"). Mixing flirty, juicy, deep and hot questions keeps the conversation balanced.

What are juicy questions for couples?

Juicy questions focus on secrets, past relationships and stories you haven't heard yet – for example "What's a rule about dating you broke for me?" or "Have you ever had feelings for two people at once?".

How do you ask your partner spicy questions?

Pick a relaxed moment, start with lighter questions, answer every question yourself as well and react with curiosity. Turning it into a game like Truth or Dare makes it easier for both of you.

Is there an app with spicy questions for couples?

Spicy Couples for iPhone includes Truth or Dare and Never Have I Ever packs with hundreds of questions, from funny to very hot.